Ancient Combat

[dr_fumbles_mcstupid]

Here is a fic I wrote a year or two ago. It is in the StarGate Atlantis fandom.I think it was the second fic I ever wrote. Unfortunately I can't find the first one!

 

 

Ancient Combat?
By Catherine Draper
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis, SG-1 and any other characters or plot lines affiliated with them do not belong to me. I am not getting any money from writing this story.
pairing: Gen
Rating: PG
Achievable: I would be honored.
summary: Rodney has found a new strange ancient device


John sighed as he made his way down to the lab. When Rodney first got the gene therapy he was foolish enough to believe that he might actually get out of being a living light switch. But those damn ancients just had to make everything so damn hard to turn on. When the doors to the lab opened he saw Rodney and Radek arguing over something that looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t place where he had seen it. The sound of the door hissing shut interrupted the two bickering scientists. “Ah Colonel, there you are. Now you can prove that I am right and Radek is wrong.” Rodney said while he rubbed his hands together.

John’s right eye started to twitch. “McKay…” He growled. “You called me down here simply because you wanted to prove Zelenka wrong.” John managed to grind out from behind tightly clenched jaws.

“No Colonel I called you down here so you could show us that new interpretive dance that you have been working on.” Rodney said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Zelenka noticed the annoyed look on John’s face and smartly moved a few steps back. ‘Ok, John calm down, take a deep breath, remember you are not supposed to kill the loud, annoying, astrophysicist’ John though. Then he calmly walked forward and scrutinized the device. “Hey this kind of reminds me of a game consol.” John said getting more and more exited.

Rodney threw his hands up in the air in clearly saying ‘I give up, I am surrounded by idiots.’ “Oh that is the stupidest thing I have heard. That even tops when Cavanaugh suggested that it might be a toaster.”

John was as usual ignoring the McKay rant tm and thinking at the device. Suddenly a smaller device appeared that reminded him of a N64 controller, and a screen appeared with an opening sequence that showed a ton of weird looking buff duded and skimpily dressed chicks. Looking back he saw Zelenka staring with a slack jaw and Rodney was completely oblivious still ranting. After a few minutes he managed his way around what he assumed to be the options screen and he got to choose a character. He chose an Asian looking girl with black hair that reached the ground. She was wearing a very skimpy orange bikini that looked about to burst off of her voluptious chest.

Rodney finally looked over when he heard what John assumed was the Aciencs version of a cheesy announcer saying “Ready … FIGHT!” While john was figuring out the controls Rodney was staring at the little holographic 3-D fighting simulation in shock. By the time Rodney had found his voice again John basically had the gist of the game. He was sitting Indian style on the floor staring intently at the 3-D figures. He had just figured out what he thought was his characters special move. Her hair was growing longer and impaling her opponent, which he had to admit, while it was a weird move, it looked really cool. Rodney also noticed that Radek was sitting beside John watching the fight with rapt attention. ‘Well’ Rodney thought, ‘the ancients sure did know how to make realistic graphics, the kids back on earth would kill for blood that actually dripped and the chick… she is something else’ Rodney shook his head free of those thoughts and started his usual complaining. “I can’t believe this! Sheppard yes, but you Radek, Being entertained by the Ancient’s version of mortal combat!”

Radek simply looked at Rodney and said “Think Rodney, if their fighting games are this good than what their RPG’s are like?”

John almost laughed out loud at the pure look of ecstatic childish glee that passed over Rodney’s face, but before he could Rodney had grabbed the consol and the screen changed to a long list which no one in the room could read. “Hey!” John protested. “I was playing.”

He sent Rodney his best kicked puppy look but Rodney was still ignoring him. John put his all into it and Rodney finally replied. “Colonel if you go away I might just be able to install a translation chip.” John’s face lit up like a pine tree on Christmas. “Now go away before I change my mind.” Rodney said while making shooing motions with his hand. As John left the lab a thought hit him and he smiled that Christmas tree smile again ‘Ronan and Teyla are going to love this.’ He thought as he went to go practice at the shooting range.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

John and Rodney sat in John’s room playing what Rodney had dubbed, despite John’s protests, the Ancient Quadrilateral (a mix between the game cube and X-box) they had found a really cool Role playing game and were now making their characters. John went first. First you chose your type, John chose thief, then the controller would scan you and put a 3-d picture of yourself on the screen, and you could change your appearance, alter your character to be taller or shorter, male or female, ect. Then came choosing race. It was at this point that conflict arose. John was looking carefully at the choices when Rodney grabbed his controller and choose elf. He then finalized it. Looking at his character john saw that his pointy ears were even pointier in the game. He turned and hit Rodney in the shoulder. “Why the hell did you do that?” John whined.

“Because you ancestors were obviously elves and would be insulted if you didn’t show your appreciation for it.” Rodney snarked back with that crooked smile on his face.

“You are so lucky this game doesn’t assign you weapons by race or you would so be dead right now.” John growled. They had discovered early on not to make mistakes because it took at least an hour for each person to finalize their character. John went through and selected his weapons, three daggers strategically placed on the bottom of his boot, on his thigh, and inside a wrist band. A small knife and a medium sized sword.

John patiently waited as Rodney selected his options, sorcerer, human, staff, then right before Rodney could choose his gender, John stole his controller and chose female. Rodney watched in horror as his character morphed from a male into a female that strangely resembled Rodney. John took one look at the murderous intent sparkling in Rodney’s eyes and thought ‘Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea.’ “McKay just calm down, we can redo it if you want.” John said in a steady voice, but in his head he was thinking ‘Oh god please don’t let him mess with my showers again.’ Last time he had really pissed off Rodney he couldn’t get any hot water for a month. McKay seemed to calm down and took a better look at his character.

“Actually she didn’t turn out so bad, and males and females compliment each other, this might be better for the game play.” John let out the breath he was holding as Rodney tweaked his character. John took a closer look; the female was about Rodney’s height, busty and slightly pudgy in a cute way. She also had shoulder length brown hair and baby blue eyes. Rodney changed the staff for a lighter one and changed her mysterious cloak and extremely modest clothing for a skimpy greenish blue top and baggy see through greenish blue pants. For the finishing touch he added a matching hooded cape, (removable in the game). Finally satisfied they started the game.

The story line was really good. They were both born in a small city and no one was aloud out of it until the age of twenty. Then you could go to a slightly bigger town. No one was aloud outside of the towns except for the government officials. John character met Rodney’s on their trip to the larger city. When they arrived, some guards were dragging away someone in strange clothing, who was babbling about what was outside of the city walls, that they needed to leave the city and expand their horizons. The man was just about to say something more when one of the guards killed him. John and Rodney’s characters talk in a tavern where they get to choose their names. It didn’t take very long to choose their names. “Oh how very original using your own name.” Rodney said while rolling his eyes.

“While at least I’m not using the name of my imaginary girlfriend McKay.” John retorted with a smirk.

“Samantha Carter is a real person and she does have a thing for me!” Rodney sputtered.

“Yeah whatever.” John replied with a smirk. Before Rodney could reply a scene started up. John and Sam listened in to a conversation two men next to them were having. Something about wondering out of the city in his younger days and seeing a castle of crystal and horrible flying monsters. John and Sam decide to try and find out more about what is actually out side the city. After getting a room at the tavern a save option comes up. After saving McKay glances at the clock and sees that it is one in the morning.

“Shit! We’ve been playing for over six hours!” Rodney exclaimed. Then ran out the door ignoring the goodnight that John sent his way.

John pulled of his boots and yawned, finally realizing how late it was, and turned in for the night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Dr. Zelenka! Wait up” Elizabeth called out as she jogged to catch up with him. “Have you seen Colonel Sheppard lately? All this week it’s been almost impossible to find him.”

Upon hearing this Radek stopped in his tracks. “Sheppard too?” He asked.

“What do you mean ‘Sheppard too’?” Elizabeth asked.

“Rodney has rarely been in lab at all this week, and when he is, he is not yelling as much.” Radek said. Suddenly Radek stopped and started cursing in Czech. Then he stormed off towards the lab.

“Dr. Zelenka! Where are you going? Dr. Zelenka.” Elizabeth yelled as she ran after the furious Czech.

When they arrived at the lab Radek started to look around. When he saw what he was looking for was not there, he cursed again and motioned for Elizabeth to follow him.

After five minutes Elizabeth realized that she was walking towards Colonel Sheppard’s quarters. When they arrived at the door, Zelenka went in without even knocking. She was a bit shocked, she had never seen the Czech this livid before, but she was even more shocked by the sight that met her eyes when the doors opened.

Rodney McKay and lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard were sitting in front of what appeared to be the Ancients version of an X-Box playing some sort of RPG game. She stood there in shock. Then looked over at Zelenka, he looked about ready to explode. she looked back at the two men sitting mesmerized by the game in front of them and it reminded her of the shield incident. Neither of them had really grown up. Her moment of contemplation was interrupted by a very loud, angry Czech. Rodney and John both jumped and dropped their controllers. Then the words game over flashed across the 3-D hologram.

“Radek you imbecile! It took us three whole days of playing to get there! We are going to have to start all over again.” Rodney yelled while John looked about ready to cry.

Zelenka seemed to just get angrier at this. “You promised that if you found an RPG you would tell me! I haven’t played a good role playing game since final fantasy seven!” Radek yelled. After getting his initial anger out he stood there sulking.

Elizabeth couldn’t stand it any longer she burst out laughing. All three men turned to look at her with contempt on their faces.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Two months after that experience the whole city of Atlantis knew about the Ancient game quadrilateral, and to John’s dismay, the name stuck. No one in Atlantis was allowed to name anything cool, ever again. They had even found about ten other Ancient game quadrilaterals. Ronan was currently obsessed with something similar to grand theft auto, but with space ships, while Teyla was playing what seemed like Dance, Dance revolution (No one would challenge her anymore, she had beaten everyone without even breaking a sweat). Even Elizabeth was getting into it by playing what reminded John of Mario.

Everyone in Atlantis was getting into the gaming spirit, playing in their free time. Elizabeth had to limit the playing time to eight hours a week. All and all I think everyone is glad that John decided to go down and find out what Rodney wanted that day almost three months ago.

END

Authors notes: This idea came from a dream I had and I wrote down the idea and the ball just kept on rolling! I hope you liked it, it is my second fic that I have actually finished and published. Feed back would be GREATLY appreacited. =^~^=